Funny Nicknames for People

In tribute to the fantastic nicknames that Chris Berman has created for sports figures, I've come up with my own list of silly nicknames for people. I hope to add to this list as inspiration strikes me. For now, I hope you enjoy what I do have here.

Nicknames for people I know (alphabetical order):

Dave "I like my modems fast and easy!" Baker
Julie "Butcher, Candlestick Maker," Baker
Kirk "Giga" Beitz
Kristin "Schmancy" Clancy
Tim "It's the Big Dog, baby!" Clancy
Robert "Up to my old shenanigans" Flanagan
Mike "Pound of" Fleischner     Hat tip: johndoe
Scott Gazard"-ous waste removal"
Cindy "As good as" Gould
Michelle "Diffie-"Hillman
Dave "I need a shot of" Kaffine
Shannon "Helter" Kelter
John "The Holy" McGrail
Art "Fart Smeller" Mellor
Joe "From Minsk to" Milando
Geraldine "I'm not playing darts any" Moore
John "This is my" Reardon
Alan "Man of" Steele     Hat tip: johndoe
Bonnie Steele "belted radial"     Hat tip: johndoe
Mary Winslow "2000"

Nicknames for people I don't know but nonetheless asked me to create a nickname (in order of receipt of request):

Maggie "Mayday" Geiswite (a pilot and aspiring astronaut)
Ali Arceneaux "and Old Lace"
Thomas "This one's definitely a" Keber
Doug "April showers bring May" Jowers
Jeff "Wanna" Hoerst "donut?"
Allison "My aim is true" Lawson
Charlie "The Tuna" Mack
Marvin "The Martian" Gross
Nicole "and Dime" Robson

Nicknames for famous people (alphabetical order):

Lenny "Not that there's anything wrong with that..." Dykstra
Eric "Mister" Johnson
Sidney "I'm not a school girl!" Ponson
Fred "My achin'" Smoot     Hat tip: dvb
Joe "Shh...I'm really a breast man" Theismann
Rob "Doubting" Thomas
Amani "It's not a" Toomer
Christopher "These boots were made for" Walken

Email me with comments, suggestions, or questions.